I have, for some time now, thought my life was normal. Well, as normal as any life can be but, since I have started telling my new friends of my many misadventures, I have started to realize that my life might not be extraordinary, but it is definitely odd.
Let me start by saying...my boyfriend has a vagina. This, to me, not so strange. You see, I am a Lesbian and am quite fond of the lady bits that he currently possesses. My boyfriend unfortunately is not. He is transgendered, Female to Male, and I am very supportive of this change. I love him, so I see no issue in his desired acquisition of a penis. I, however, have a penis phobia, thus far in my life it has not been an issue. Being of the homo persuasion, I have had limited interaction with the male anatomy, until now. Here is my issue with "the penis." They are awkwardly potruding, are covered in lumpy veins, and--quite honestly--I just don't understand testicles.
The current penis I am acquainted with is made of something like rubber or silicone, and is removable. I like it, moreover I like the person that it is attached to.
To protect my boyfriend and my relationship I'm just going to use his initials and call him M.R.
As I typed that I just realized that his initials spell the abbreviation for Mister, I promise this is not just a poor attempt at a joke, that's really how it works out.
Now this relationship is totally different from any one I have ever experienced, not only because I am with a man, but because I pulled a total U-Haul lesbian move. We moved in together after only 2 months of dating. My job had started going down hill back home after my boss asked me if I was gay, and I foolishly decided to be honest. I think she was a little let down when I told her she was "not my type". There was a mounting tension between my parents and me; I felt I should be able to do what ever I liked whenever I chose to once I turned twenty, they didn't see it that way. Nothing was working out quite the way I planned, so I moved out of my parents home, out of the state, and started a whole new life an hour and a half outside of Tulsa, OK with my new boyfriend.
I spent the first month of living here desperately searching for a job. No luck. I decided sense I was pretty much stranded by my own doing and felt like a horrible mooch I would play "Susie Homemaker". I cleaned our tiny little lake house continuously, baked cookies, took care of the entire food chain we have living with us (2 rats, 2 cats, 2 hell hounds), and looked damn good while doing it. It was exhausting. Finally after a month and a half of filling out and turning in applications I got an interview and a job at a cafe' in Tulsa.
Now you are fairly caught up.
Let me back track and tell you some more about MR. He is pretty much a Bad Ass.
About a month ago I started giving him his testosterone shots. I find it to be very therapeutic on my end. On the one side, I'm being a sweet little girlfriend helping out my man; from another perspective, when he gets on my bad side, I get to stab him in the ass every 2 weeks. It's a total win-win. However, if you are unfamiliar with the affects of testosterone, MR. is basically going through menopause and puberty all at once. It's hilarious and awful. He is always horny, and hungry, and having hot flashes every ten minutes. His voice cracks when he sings the high notes in girlie song, but on the plus side, we did find one chin hair about a week ago. He plucked it before I could take a picture...
I think I am one of the few people who can say they have heard their boyfriend say the words "I think I have a yeast infection". I did struggle for a while with the issue of what to call the sexy parts. Do I refer to his vag as his dick? I mean like an invisible limb sort of thing. In theory it should be there...but, it's sort of odd to ask. If we are playing around and I go for a crotch shot is it a nut tap or a twat swat? I hope you get where the confusion lies. I have found he is content with a happy median, whatever word seems to fit best at the time. I tried to be PC for a while but gave up from sheer mental exhaustion. My boyfriend has a vagina, deal with it, we do.
Let me start by saying...my boyfriend has a vagina. This, to me, not so strange. You see, I am a Lesbian and am quite fond of the lady bits that he currently possesses. My boyfriend unfortunately is not. He is transgendered, Female to Male, and I am very supportive of this change. I love him, so I see no issue in his desired acquisition of a penis. I, however, have a penis phobia, thus far in my life it has not been an issue. Being of the homo persuasion, I have had limited interaction with the male anatomy, until now. Here is my issue with "the penis." They are awkwardly potruding, are covered in lumpy veins, and--quite honestly--I just don't understand testicles.
The current penis I am acquainted with is made of something like rubber or silicone, and is removable. I like it, moreover I like the person that it is attached to.
To protect my boyfriend and my relationship I'm just going to use his initials and call him M.R.
As I typed that I just realized that his initials spell the abbreviation for Mister, I promise this is not just a poor attempt at a joke, that's really how it works out.
Now this relationship is totally different from any one I have ever experienced, not only because I am with a man, but because I pulled a total U-Haul lesbian move. We moved in together after only 2 months of dating. My job had started going down hill back home after my boss asked me if I was gay, and I foolishly decided to be honest. I think she was a little let down when I told her she was "not my type". There was a mounting tension between my parents and me; I felt I should be able to do what ever I liked whenever I chose to once I turned twenty, they didn't see it that way. Nothing was working out quite the way I planned, so I moved out of my parents home, out of the state, and started a whole new life an hour and a half outside of Tulsa, OK with my new boyfriend.
I spent the first month of living here desperately searching for a job. No luck. I decided sense I was pretty much stranded by my own doing and felt like a horrible mooch I would play "Susie Homemaker". I cleaned our tiny little lake house continuously, baked cookies, took care of the entire food chain we have living with us (2 rats, 2 cats, 2 hell hounds), and looked damn good while doing it. It was exhausting. Finally after a month and a half of filling out and turning in applications I got an interview and a job at a cafe' in Tulsa.
Now you are fairly caught up.
Let me back track and tell you some more about MR. He is pretty much a Bad Ass.
About a month ago I started giving him his testosterone shots. I find it to be very therapeutic on my end. On the one side, I'm being a sweet little girlfriend helping out my man; from another perspective, when he gets on my bad side, I get to stab him in the ass every 2 weeks. It's a total win-win. However, if you are unfamiliar with the affects of testosterone, MR. is basically going through menopause and puberty all at once. It's hilarious and awful. He is always horny, and hungry, and having hot flashes every ten minutes. His voice cracks when he sings the high notes in girlie song, but on the plus side, we did find one chin hair about a week ago. He plucked it before I could take a picture...
I think I am one of the few people who can say they have heard their boyfriend say the words "I think I have a yeast infection". I did struggle for a while with the issue of what to call the sexy parts. Do I refer to his vag as his dick? I mean like an invisible limb sort of thing. In theory it should be there...but, it's sort of odd to ask. If we are playing around and I go for a crotch shot is it a nut tap or a twat swat? I hope you get where the confusion lies. I have found he is content with a happy median, whatever word seems to fit best at the time. I tried to be PC for a while but gave up from sheer mental exhaustion. My boyfriend has a vagina, deal with it, we do.
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